“This property should be kissed by a bulldozer…”  No, you probably don’t want your propety described like this in a real estate add, huh?  But, I bet it caught more views than any other property advertised in the same publication.  When it comes to descriptions for properties, sometimes the words just flow and other times, it’s a bit harder.  

I often sit with my retired broker (also my dad) and discuss real estate.  Numerous times we have discussed descriptions for properties and he has told me stories about a past Granneman Agency agent, Paul Knoll.  Paul, a true jokester, had a knack for interesting descriptions, including the one above.  And, he would get them sold!!

Recently, I listed the old Talmage school house.  It took some time to write the description for this place.  Here you go:

Old School Building

Imagine this school in it's prime - kids up and down the halls, learning going on in each classroom from K-12, basketball games in the Bulldog gym with limited seating along the court but more available in the balcony, concerts and programs on the stage off the gym, tetherball on the playground (sorry, this isn't there anymore, but I remember it when going to the many softball/baseball games at the ball field next door), and the secrets this building contains!!! The Talmage School was built in 1935. In 1967, Talmage and Cook merged to form the Nemaha Valley School District and held classes in the building until the 1997-98 school year. In recent years, the building has been used for storage. Yes, the building could use some work - IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD DO WITH IT!!! The possibilities are endless!!

 

Hoping you see an actual school day in this building after reading this description.  You realize that the building once was very useful and can be usefull again.  So, let me know when you want to take a look!

 

All in all, when marketing a property, I strive to price it right, promote it adequately, and create a listing that clearly communicates why your property is the deal of a lifetime.  Sometimes that is easier than others!!!

 

Lastly, I will leave you with some “comical” phrases used in the real estate world:

 

When it says:

This is what it REALLY means:

MUCH POTENTIAL

Steer clear unless you have a lot of money!

UNIQUE CITY HOME

Used to be a warehouse

CONTEMPORARY

Lots if steel shelves with little holes like the kind your dad used to store tools on.

ONE-OF-A-KIND

Ugly as sin

YOU’LL LOVE IT

No you won’t

MUST SEE TO BELIEVE

An absolutely accurate statement

CHARMING

Small

COZY

Very Small

BRIGHT AND SUNNY

Drapes and blinds not included

NATURAL SETTING

Deer will eat your plants and bushes

PARK LIKE SETTING

There's a tree in the yard

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE

Can’t think of anything more to say